Sugar High L
by Ruin Takada
Summary: Just what it says on the tin: It is a hot day at the HQ, and Light, L, and Misa are bored...Until a game of 'Fluffy Bunnies' is suggested, and all hell breaks loose. Rated T for Shonen-ai hints, plate-related violence. SPOILER WARNING L's real name .
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! And welcome to chapter 1 of the soon-to-be-famous Sugar High L! This was going to be a one-shot, however, it was getting a little too long, so I had to shorten it down a little, for my computer's – and my sanity's – sake. **

**It may seem that it doesn't have any plot to begin with, but as it is a one/two shot, it really doesn't need to matter, does it? Now, this chapter has been proofread a number of times, and apparently it is funny, so I had no choice but to put it in the humour genre, and because of the yaoi/shounen-ai hints, it is in the romance too. I just felt I had to warn you first. **

**Yay! Hurray for too much sugar!**

**And so we continue…**

Sugar High L

(L + sugar he can handle)*(plates + sugar rage)…

Chapter I

"Misa's right," said L, chewing on his fork in forced tedium, "you, Light-kun, are without a doubt the most uncreative soul I have ever come across."

It was a sunny, blistering hot afternoon at Task Force HQ, the heat trapping the team inside the building. Light and L were with Misa in her private suite, the stench of sweaty girl and cheap Chinese food hanging low in the stale air, made all the worse by her habit of overdoing her perfume, and the fact that she had unintentionally broken the air conditioning system for the whole complex – all of that done that very morning.

(A/N: Now, can you imagine how bad that must be? Now the perfume part and the Chinese Food part are all understandable but how many of you have actually smelt the smell known as 'sweaty girl'. Seriously, it is one of the rankest bodily odours conceived by man – or should that be woman – kind. Now imagine how Light and L felt.)

Misa was sitting on Light's lap on the sofa, waving a little pocket concertina fan in her face, despite her big electric fan in the corner being on full blast. Her usually black and frilly attire had been swapped for her white bikini, which – with it being so revealing – she thought would benefit both her and Light in equal measures.

Light – who was too hot and exhausted to do anything about the lump of equal parts cutesy ignorance and self-proclaimed sex appeal perched on his lap – was taking advantage of the fan that blew in his face, five empty water bottles lying at his feet and another one in his hand, which he took a swig from at regular intervals to save himself from thirst and boredom. Finally finishing the sixth one, he was now not only bored, hot and bothered – he was also in desperate need of visiting the little god's room, and had not a hope in the world of getting that little chunk of sticky sex kitten off his lap, wishing that she hadn't eaten so much ice cream at lunch.

For L however, he hadn't needed to do so much to keep himself cool: being so close to Light and Misa on account of the handcuffs, the large fan was still able to keep him cool as well. Apart from that, he crouched on the floor at Light's feet eating his little slice of cake off a bone china plate, his white shirt sleeves pulled up to the elbow and his jeans folded up the knee, revealing his skinny pale (_and surprisingly sexy_, Light thought) legs. Apart from the munch munching of his mouth as he overloaded his system with sugar-packed desserts, the only other motion he made was the occasional wince as the sixth water bottle landed squarely on his head. Unsurprisingly, the boredom was getting to L, and it was he who had finally broken the silence, asking Light about the possibility of playing a game of some sort to pass the time.

"How about a board game or something?" asked Light tiredly, his water-soaked brain unable process much more than that, instead concentrating on keeping the result of too much water in his bladder rather than relaxing and risking an accident.

(A/N: I would elaborate a little more, but as funny as a urine-soaked Light and Misa would be, the use of such dirty minded images are never good…unless of course it is an M-rate, and a bed, a condom, and a lot of syrup is involved. Yes…I said that.)

"Boring!" declared Misa, "Board games are for computer geeks and megalomaniac losers with no imaginations!"

"Misa's right," said L, chewing on his fork in monotony, "you, Light-kun, are without a doubt the most uncreative soul I have ever come across."

"Wow Light-kun!" Misa put down her fan and turned to look at him in the face, "Ryuzaki-kun must be real smart to work you out like that with so little!" Being a blonde like she is, it surprised neither of the boys that it took so little to get rid of her boredom like that.

"_Did you know Light-kun," L had said only the week before, "that it's a fact that simple things entertain simple minds?" _

"_Very good, Ryuzaki," he'd replied, concentrating more on the computer screen in front of him, "how did you work that out?" _

"_Very simply." Just then, Misa had entered the room, a bored look on her face as she walked over to the two young men, sitting herself in Light's lap. "Watch." L mouthed emphatically, as he pulled out a long pole of bamboo wood from his hammer space, a little bell on a string at the end. He jiggled it in front of Misa's little nose, watching her eyes widen at the sight and sound of the little ball-shaped jingle-maker. _

"_Bell! Mine!" she jumped off Light in an instant, making a grab for the bell – but L too was too smart, and he jerked the pole up, making Light laugh as Misa missed, and fell on her behind. "No fair!" she moaned, dusting herself off, "Why did you-"_

"_Here's the bell again, Misa!" L swung the bell in front of her nose again, jerking it up as she attempted to seize the bell again._

"_Bell! Mine!" but it was too late: the little ball was soon out of reach, and Misa was once again on her behind. _

"_Now, Misa…" L slowly snapped the bell-ball off its string, clutching it in his pale fist, "FETCH!!!" He threw the bell as far as he could, watching as Misa scrambled off for it, tongue lolling out of her mouth like a dog doped up on speed._

"_Bell! Mine! Bell! Mine! Bell! Mine! Bell! Mi-" her cries were soon cut short, as the bell rolled under the door, and Misa – for a moment thinking that she was Casper the Friendly Ghost – slammed right into it, falling down unconscious on the floor. Neither Light nor L attempted to help her up, too busy laughing their heads off and rolling on the floor in glee._

-Back to the present situation-

"Hey, I've got an idea!" said Misa, jumping off Light's lap and her finger pointing up on high. Now free, Light rushed out of his seat and into Misa's en suite bathroom, dragging a protesting L behind him. He slammed the door behind him, sighing loudly in relief as L groaned quietly, rubbing the back of his head.

"Oh, great…" L muttered, still rubbing the back of his head, "I have a feeling that this can only end in chaos."

"You're right!" shouted Light from the bathroom, "Misa is so stupid, that whenever she gets an idea her mind goes blank!"

"I'm sorry, Light-kun, but that joke is further proof of you're insufferable lack of creativity."

At that, Light walked out of the bathroom, a towel in his hands and a scowl etched on his face. "Ok, but why don't you say that to my face?!"

"Fine then, Light: 'you are the most uncreative soul I have ever come across, and if it wasn't for the fact that you are a suspect in this case, and the cutest thing since Hello Kitty®, you'd be totally indistinctive and completely disposab- '"

That did it. Without a second thought, Light swung back and punched L in the face. Hard. In fact, it was so hard that L was sent flying across the room, the chain sending Light careering after him and the pair into the sofa. Misa quickly dodged the onslaught of flying guys, barely missing them by inches. As soon as they landed, the boys were on their feet and at each other's throats again, their hands at each other's collars and their whole bodies shaking from over exertion and sweat-making heat. Before L could return the favour, Misa ran in between them, pushing them apart in desperation.

"Hey, hey you guys. What about my idea? Don't you want to hear it?"

"NO!" Light and L shouted together, getting ready to have at each other again.

"No, no, no! Don't do that! Now if you just take a look see…" And, from out of nowhere, Misa pulled out two large purple and pink packets, waving them temptingly in front of L's nose.

_HARIBO'S® SUPER SWEET SUPER TASTY MARSHMALLOW YUM YUMS!!!_

L was instantly transfixed, gazing as the little pink and white fluffy things bounced inside their packaging, a trail of drool dribbling from the corner of his mouth and his tongue lolling out.

"You were saying, Misa-Misa?"

"Yes, Ryuzaki-kun, _as _I was saying: my idea is that we all play a game of 'Fluffy Bunnies'. In this game, all we have to do is – one at a time – put a marshmallow in our mouth and say 'fluffy bunnies'. If it can be said clearly, then once it's your turn again, you put another one in your mouth and start the process again. If it can't be said clearly, or you bite or suck into the marshmallows in your mouth, you are disqualified from the game. Oh yeah, and choking counts as a disqualification, too."

All this talk of marshmallows had L moaning with pleasure and in a trance, a small puddle of drool sloshing at his feet. He was so unresponsive now, that Light and Misa were waiting any second for his brain to follow suit and drop out of his ears in the form of gloopy neurone gunk. He looked like a stoner at Woodstock.

"Ok, so how do you win?" Light asked, ignoring L's disturbingly wide-eyed look.

"Easy, you just have to be the one with the most marshmallows in your mouth when everyone else eventually forfeits!"

"Okay, I'm up for that, and I know Bluntman and Chronic over there _definitely _is."

(A/N: For those of you who don't watch 18 rated comedies, 'Bluntman and Chronic' are perpetually stoned superheroes that make mention in a few movies directed by Kevin Smith. They are actually the crime-fighting versions of the double act called Jay and Silent Bob: two stoner guys who go on wacky adventures together (and for the record: they are not gay – although Jay names Silent Bob as his 'heterosexual life-partner' in Dogma). A few movies that they are in are "Jay and Silent Bob", "Mall Rats", and "Dogma". They have been in at least ten (I think.))

"Fine, now all we need now are a few plates, and a plastic bag for all the _sweet and sticky marshmallow mess_ we'll end up with – by the end of it, our mouths will be _so full _of marshmallow gooeyness that that'll be too dangerous to swallow!"

And with a gratifying groan, L was officially out for the count, landing with a splash in the drool. Well: at least he won't be feeling the heat anymore.

"I think I'll just be the referee…" Light then stepped over the unconscious super-sleuth, walking out to get a plastic bag and some kitchen towels: once a neat freak, always a neat freak.

***

"OK, Ryuzaki – are you _sure _you know all the rules?"

"Yes, of course Light-kun. 'Put one in my mouth. Say fluffy bunnies. If it's comprehensible, get another one. Don't suck, chew, swallow or choke."

"Great, Ryuzaki-kun! That's right!"

With Misa and L ready, Light pulled open one of the bags, and carefully tipped a handful of marshmallows onto one of the bone china plates. Picking up his chopsticks, he lightly held up one of the squishy soft sweets, "Alright, now who's first?"

"Let Misa go first, Light-kun." Said L, staring at the marshmallow greedily. "It was her idea. Besides, I want to see how this game works in practice."

"Fine then Ryuzaki-kun, now _hit _me with it, Light-kun!"

Without hesitation, Light stuck out his wrist, placing the marshmallow in Misa's open mouth. She quickly closed it again, declaring, "Fluffy bunnies!"

"Well done, Misa," said Light, chuckling lightly, "I can see why you picked a game like this."

"Yes, yes, we're all happy for her minor achievement, now give me one, too!" L yelled, impatient in waiting for his treat.

"Fine…" Light sighed, picked up another marshmallow, and dropped it into L's open mouth.

*Four packets and many, _many _marshmallows later*

It was coming near to the end of the game now, and everything was going well for the super-sleuth: Misa had lost after 25 marshmallows, yet L was still going strong after an impossible 98 in his mouth, the occasional shout of "Fluffy bunnies" never muffled. Reaching out for number 99, there was a lot of pink slobber oozing down his chin, and the movement of his hands for a marshmallow quickened with each sweet, the sugar-rush playing hell with his blood sugar. The tension had been building up since marshmallow number 50, and there was no sign of waning. With every successful declaration, Light and Misa shouted with glee, clapping their hands loudly.

"Fluffe-ee Bunne-eez!!" yelled L, putting up his hands, his cheeks puffed out to an unfeasible width.

"YAY!!!" Light and Misa shouted, clapping once more.

"Now," said Light, his tone immediately becoming akin to Gary Lineker's, "If Ryuzaki says it right, he'll have won the game at an incredible 100 marshmallows."

"That's right." Said Misa, joining in with the acting, "I just can't figure out where he's keeping them all…"

"Well," replied Light-the-Commentator, "either he's been sneaking them down his trousers, or I'm a lucky man…" Misa glared at him evilly in response, one eyebrow rose in half-shock, half-disgust.

"Now now, Light-kun, what have I told you?"

He sighed in response, "Look but don't touch, and guys are out of the question…" With Misa as his fake-girlfriend, it was becoming more and more easy to empathize with those poor gay men who have to endure homophobia everyday. "Stupid Nazi…" he muttered.

Anyways: back to Fluffy Bunnies!

L had finally managed to cram the last marshmallow into the last of the space in his mouth, his eyes widening at the effects of the new treat. His breath seemed to be laboured now, and it was becoming slowly more apparent that something wasn't right.

"Hey, Misa," asked Light, thoroughly concerned, "Can you read out the ingredients to me?"

"Yeah, sure." Misa quickly picked up a slightly ripped marshmallow packet, wiping excess sugar off the back. "Right…well, here it says that they contain artificial colourings, loads of E-numbers, and 'extra sugar for that extra special rush…'"

"Flurbbe-ee Burnbe-eez!" L yelled, clapping his hands in glee, drooling all the more. "An' Bureeyoobhakee bwinns a' one hunbred moshed mawows! An' dall banks doo no- "

"Yeah, yeah, that's great, Ryuzaki-kun, but you've got to spit them out now!" her voice was feverish as she reached for the already messy plastic bag, knowing full well what an excess of sugar can do to a person, even a person as sugar-tolerant as L.

"Bwhy? This fizz my bwize!"

"Do what she says, Ryuzaki. You'll choke if you try to swallow all that." Light put his hand on L's shoulder, but L shut his mouth defiantly, shaking his head like a stubborn child.

"I khan do bwhat I bwant!" And with that, he breathed in deeply, and took a gulp, swallowing down the entire mess of marshmallow in his mouth, coughing as it nearly went down the wrong way. Light quickly patted his back, hoping that he wasn't choking, but – in one more gulp – one hundred half melted, half solid marshmallows were down L's gullet and in his system. Had L been diabetic, Light was pretty sure that he would've been comatose by now.

"See. All gone." He opened his now empty mouth as proof, smiling from ear to ear with happiness.

"Great, so you didn't choke." Said Light, cynical as ever, "but are you OK? Those marshmallows had more that the legal dose of sugar per bag."

"I know, but sugar doesn't affect m-" L suddenly paused his sentence, and began to shake. His pupils dilated alarmingly, his eyes bulging, and his mouth fixed itself at a crooked angle. Sweat dripped down his face – and not because of the heat. Trying to talk, he instead stuttered loudly, sounding like a stalling car engine. He clutched the part of his chest above his heart, and, and…

It was gone as fast as it came. His pupils returned to normal, and the shakes stopped. He was no longer in pain, for he let go of his heart and shook his head. "See?" he said, smiling once more, "I'm absolutely fine."

Light sighed with relief at this, and so did Misa, who said, "Wow! For a second there, I thought Kira had got to you!"

"So did I," L replied candidly, "but it was probably just the sugar talking."

Now that all was well, Light rubbed his hands together, looking around at the mess in the room. "Well, since all is well, and you're not dead," said Light, glancing at L, "how would you like to help me tidy up?" And with that, Light began walking about the room, picking up empty packets and remains of trodden in marshmallows (at about halfway in the game, a marshmallow-fight had broken out, but was stopped at L's command). L joined in too, picking up one of the china plates and walking up to Light with it. When Light stood up again, L held out the plate for him.

"Here, Light." He said, his voice suddenly on fast-forward, "You forgot something."

"Huh?" Light turned to face L, a questioning look on his face, "What?"

Slowly, L lifted the plate upwards, Light's eyes following its movement in wonder. _What are you planning now, Ryuzaki?_

Suddenly, in a flash, the plate was brought down on Light's head, sending him to the floor in a shower of broken china, accompanied by L's new battle cry, his tongue lolling out like on a scream mask, and his mouth opened wide, "WAAAZZZAAAPPP!!!" The force of the blow caused strain on the handcuffs, causing them to break lose in the middle of the chain, the remain of the metal scattering to the ground.

Misa screamed out in terror, yelling, "HELP! The Masked Killer has struck again!"

(A/N: For those of you who don't know what I'm referring to: you know those long-face white masks with the big mouth and the black veil to cover the rest of the head (some come complete with fake blood that pumps through the clear plastic skin of it)? Well that mask became famous because the masked killer in the Scream Movies, which were also spoofed by the famous Scary Movie, wore it. His catchphrase in both movies when he called the victims was always "What's your favourite scary movie?" Please watch Scary Movie to understand why the hell this situation is apparently so funny.)

The sugar rage pulsed through L's body, making him spin around slowly on the spot, weird noises uttered under his breath. "P-p-please, Ryuzaki-kun. Don't be silly, just calm do-"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!" He yelled, turning on the helpless girl. "If there's anything I'm not, it's SILLY!!!" Misa scared, ran behind the sofa, covering her ears as L began to turn around again, spinning faster until he was almost a blur. "WAAAZZZAAAPPP!" He yelled again, spinning like a top out of the door of the private suite and down the hallway, crashes, thumps and the clanging of chain links against solid objects being reverberated around the walls.

Safe from the rotating evil that was L, Misa rushed to the recumbent figure that was Light, who laid spread eagled and surrounded by broken china and half-trodden marshmallows. She kneeled by his side, too horrified to contemplate actually getting some help or even performing simple first aid.

Suddenly, Light let out a low groan, his head stirring and his jaw clenching. Meanwhile, Soichiro Yagami and Matsuda had entered the room, crowding around Light as his hands balled into fists and slowly reached for his head. "Light, my son!" yelled Soichiro, elbowing Misa out of the way and placing his hands on Light's shoulders, his face clouded with worry. "Are you okay?"

Slowly, Light's eyes opened, his blinking rapid as he scratched the back of his head. "Y-y-yeah, I think I'm okay…" he muttered, removing his hand from his head and peering at the palm, which was stained dark with blood. In his relief, Soichiro suddenly wrapped his arms around his confused son, half-crushing his ribs. Light gasped for breath from the over-masculine gesture of affection, and was soon released and allowed to clutched his bruised side and wounded forehead.

Once recovered, Light sat up straight on the floor, his hands beside him on the ground to support his weight. Looking up at the scene that lay before him, his once blank face frowned, as though all wasn't right with the situation. "W-what…" Light slowly said, his voice surprisingly raspy and quiet, gone of its previous authority. Soichiro, Matsuda, and Misa bent in close to Light, listening intently, "…took place this Midsummer night?"

(A/N: This talk is bound to get confusing, so I'll translate: What happened this summer's day?)

Taken aback by the sudden poetic language, Soichiro blinked twice, before clearing his throat to answer, "Er…You, Amane-san and Ryuzaki were playing a game, which got awfully out of hand…" Soichiro spoke slowly; careful to use small words that wouldn't overload the obvious muddle that was once Light's sharp brain.

"But then…" he asked, closing his eyes in thought, "where resides my love, that dost worry my fevered brow so?"

(Trans: But…where is my lover: their disappearance is distressing for my head, even with the wound!)

"Oh…Amane-san's over here." Soichiro showed Light where Misa sat on the floor, rubbing her bottom from the Chief's rough handling (O_O).

"Thou talk'st of lies fair formed! I had as lief see a toad, as see her!"

(Trans: Your 'pretty' lies are stupid! I'd much rather see a toad than _that_!)

"What?!" yelled Matsuda in surprise, "What do you mean by that? You and Misa-Misa have been going out for months!"

"Anon, star-cross'd lovers can see to do their amorous rites by their own beauties, yet mine eyes see best cloaked by civil night's black mantle, for such a dowdy countenance wilt affect it so!" Misa, being an actress herself, and having studied Shakespeare's works before, understood everything, her blue eyes widening and spilling over with tears.

(Trans: Come now, true loves can make love in darkness and see by their own radiance: she is so ugly that to see her in the darkest night won't make a difference for me!)

"Light!" his father yelled, angry at Light's arrogance, "What-"

"'_Light_' is right," the young man retorted, "for such a title that spake of healing unto the cruel Sun's prick at absence should be coupled with that of fair mantle sweeping justice to mine doomed orb!"

(Trans: 'Light' would be the right word, for only an entity that brings light when the Sun leaves without pardon, should be allowed near something with splendour that justifies the beauty of such a lonely, doom-associated thing! (A/N: Note, that Light is making a reference to the fact that his name – while said 'Light' – is spelt with the Kanji for 'Moon'.))

"Fine then, Mr Big Moon!" yelled Misa, tears pouring down her face, "Who _does_ do you justice, huh?! Is it Yuri, or Mayu, huh?! If it's Takada, I'll bitch-slap her back six centuries!"

"I dare say neither," answered Light, smirking at the pitiful blonde, "compared to the fairness of my lover, Yuri and Mayu are mere hildings and harlots, and Takada; a brown eye or two, but not to the purpose…" Light's monologue trailed off, and he stared off into the distance, starry-eyed.

(Trans: It's none of them: compared to my lover's beauty, Yuri and Mayu are sluts, and Takada isn't the one, despite her brown eyes.)

"No," he continued, "mine lover does justice for, marry, his deeds for the helpless Earth sings of the Justice he bringeth not in Law's favour, but unto the favour of my Love, veiled by that moniker that they both covet."

(Trans: No, my lover does justice because he brings it to the world not for the Law's sake like everyone believes but for the sake of our Love whilst using a letter that they both argue over.)

"Wait, _he_?" asked Misa, not for the first time dumbstruck.

"Wait," asked Matsuda, "you mean…?"

"_Ryuzaki_?" Soichiro jaw dropped down to his knees in shock at the possibility of such an odd couple.

"Ryuzaki? Who be he?" asked Light, an almost innocent look on his face. "No, the nobleman that attained my affections goes by a sweeter name, with black hair as raven down, and pale features finer than the face of heaven!"

(Trans: Ryuzaki? Who is he? No, the man that I love has a much nicer name, with black hair as lovely and dark as raven feathers, and a pale face more beautiful that the night sky!)

"Oh Lawliet," Light sighed, oblivious to the people around him, "A rose by any other word would smell as sweet, yet as one he'd be the fairer scent!"

(Trans: Oh Lawliet, a rose would still smell sweet no matter what word what used for it, but if Lawliet was a flower himself, he'd still smell nicer!)

As Light stared off into the distance and sighed, Matsuda and Soichiro gave each other worried looks, while Misa cried her eyes out, crying so hard that her eyeballs were on the verge of liquefying and spilling out too. Soichiro himself was especially worried, and not for himself, like Misa was: Of course, he'd heard all of the rumours that having Light and L chained together could possibly generate, from the antagonism of spending every moment with such a strange man (that being L, not Light…although, Light is pretty weird himself, no doubt about that) to a perverse sense of humour and fun on L's part…but never had he dreamed that the often mixed signals that L sent Light could possibly be reciprocated…did his son really like_ that_? He'd only just got over the shock of Light's apparent liking for Misa!

Realising the impossibility of the situation, Matsuda sighed, walking off dejected and heart-broken, sighing loudly in the hopelessness and reality of unrequited love. Walking out of the room, he sighed even louder, and with that, slammed the door.

"What's that idiot up to?" Soichiro wondered aloud, taking his attention off Light for a second: While Light had been good and trustworthy all his life until up to this point, Matsuda wasn't exactly 'leave him alone without adult supervision' material. Misa was poking Soichiro on the shoulder at this point and wouldn't stop. "Stop that now, Amane-san!" Soichiro reprimanded, glaring at her and brushing her off, "Bad girl!"

"But Otōto-san!" She yelled back, tears flowing fast enough to create a new major river there and then, "Light's gone!"

(A/N: Since Misa is going out with Light, and ever since she found out that her 'stalker' was Light's dad, she's been addressing Soichiro as such.)

"What?! What do you mean by that?!"

"I mean," she shouted, becoming more teary than humanly possible, "He's disappeared, and out that door, too!" Looking back at where Light was sat, he looked back at Misa, and then did a double-take: Light wasn't there!

Looking to the door, they realised that it was open, and that Light's shouts of "Oh Lawliet, I am for you!" were echoing around the walls of the corridor, accompanied with the jingle of moving chain links.

Well, this is getting interesting.

There was no choice: Reluctant to allow a crazy detective on the loose, and his poor, concussed son to run after another man and make a fool out of himself, and reluctant even more to allow a tearful, stupid blonde girl on her own – for, even tied up, there was always some way that she could get herself into trouble and/or break something (remember what happened to the AC that morning?) – Soichiro was forced to drag her along with him. Besides, were she to suddenly die in a tragic accident – an electrical fire via faulty hair straighteners came to mind – Soichiro wanted to be the first to speak for his son and say "Good riddance".

And so, the two of them ran down the corridor and down the stairs in to the de facto area of the Task Force HQ, computer screens still ablaze in the darkness. Being that Soichiro – now in his late 40s – was well past his prime, and that Misa was just really unfit anyways, it took at least 5 minutes for them to get there and just about nearly break their necks on the fall down the steps.

Now surrounded by the half-light, it had taken the 30 seconds for their eyes to adjust for them to pick out the figure of a recumbent Matsuda, and the bent shape of a slightly battered Mogi, who, until this point in the story had been mysteriously absent, and only really introduced to help move this dumb thing forward.

"What happened here?" Soichiro demanded of his men: As the Chief, he had to be in control of the situation, and also as the chief, he would also be in hot water if anyone found out he'd let this happen, so, you know, go figure.

"I-it w-w-was h-horrible!" Mogi stammered, revealing only a slight bruise on his face but never the less shaken. "A-a w-w-white and b-black b-bl-blur!" Angry, Soichiro walked forwards and slapped Mogi in the face. Hard. In all normal situations, that shouldn't have done anything to the Mogi Tank, but it made him whimper now.

"Come on, man, pull yourself together!" Soichiro yelled. He was in War Lord Brigadier General Yagami Mode now, and nothing could stop him now.

Mogi's face straightened now and he nodded in response. "Yes sir!" He said, now in Private Mogi Mode. He even added a little Rimmer salute, but it looked a little 'festive', so he stopped.

(A/N: Yes, that is indeed a reference to Red Dwarf's Arnold Judas Rimmer. Ah, the wonders of British comedy!)

"I tried to stop Light, but he punched me in the face!" yelled Matsuda, not realising the effect of his words: never again would the Task Force trust him to do, well, anything. This being the guy who still needed a bib to eat soup!

"Come on, Matsu!" Said Misa, her panic subsiding for now, "It's not your fault! You just got in Light's way, and he _did_ bump his head after all! You're still a good guy!" Misa chuckled sweetly, and gave a wink. Matsuda was instantly charmed, and he blushed a deep red.

"Wow, Misa-Misa, you really think so-"

"Never mind that!" Interrupted Soichiro loudly, making Matsuda cry at the loss of his special moment, "Which way did they go?"

"W-well, according to the monitors, they ran out of the building and turned left..."

"Of course!" shouted Matsuda, soon out of his funk again. He really was like a dumb dog in that respect. "Mad House®! They've gone to Mad House®!"

***

**And that was chapter 1! As this is a two-shot, it will be finished very soon, so just hang on a little, 'kay? I'm excited now, because I am now very close to actually having a completed story on here, after all of the others I have done and never completed, but what are you going to do, eh? Still, I'm happy, and hopefully, after reading this, you are too. **

**Please R&R, and SEE YA!!! **


	2. Chapter 2

**And, so soon after the publishing of **_**Sugar High L **_**chapter 1, is **_**Sugar High L **_**chapter 2! Now, I'm aware that it isn't as funny as the first, but just tell me what you think when you finish reading it, and all will be good! Really, I just wanted to focus a little on the romance factor.**

**So, here it is: Chapter 2 of **_**Sugar High L**_**! **

**ENJOY!!!**

Sugar High L

(L + sugar he can handle)*(plates + sugar rage)…

Chapter II

"L-look Rikuo-kun...I-I'm really sorry about what happened to her..." The blond haired boy stood, not alone, but solitary for all the notice his pleas were getting him. Rikuo said nothing to him, as usual, and just handed him a box of stock, motioning for him to stack shelves. "I didn't mean for her to get away..." As he was placing stock on the bottom shelf, it was hard for him to see Rikuo's expression. Only his voice, as he finally replied, gave a clue as to what he felt.

"You always say you never mean to do anything..." whispered Rikuo, his voice low, so as not to be heard by passing customers, "But if you kept not meaning it, then no one would believe you about anything..." Kazahaya could tell he was really angry now: Only at his angriest did he bother to bottle it up, like he was now.

Slowly, Rikuo turned to look at the blond boy, and sighed, his voice severe as he spoke. "Look, if you didn't want to help, you should have said."

"But I-"

"That way, you wouldn't have had to resort to sabotage to get your own way."

"But I wasn't trying to-" Tears were pouring down Kazahaya's face now, upset at the accusations being thrown at him.

"But that's the thing…" Rikuo whispered, eyes grave, "You _never_ try, and I'm always the one having to save your skinny ass when you mess up!"

"But I _do_ try!" yelled Kazahaya, no longer sad, but angry now, his eyes and hair resembling those of a kitten. Rikuo just raised an eyebrow in response, mouth half-smiling, as though from a half-remembered joke.

"Pathetic." He muttered. He then began to walk slowly toward the blond, readying himself to slow the unfortunate child what was coming to him: Rikuo was angry now, and whatever stood in his way at such a time was usually the first to suffer at the hands of it.

Suddenly, two over-eager girls pushed passed him, giggling as school-girls were wont to do, never realising that they had pushed over the man of their dreams. What they had also never noticed, or realised, was that they had not only pushed the man of their dreams over, but also onto the lowly Green Drug Store's poster boy.

And as Rikuo fell onto Kazahaya, the stock fell with him, and Rikuo began to choke…

"CUT!!!!"

A large, squat looking man stepped in front of the couple, waving around his speaker cone. "Come on Kazahaya, what do you think you're doing?!" As he spoke, the boy didn't listen, and he was still holding Rikuo close to him, his arms around his neck, and held tight. The result of this was an unfortunate-looking Rikuo that was turning purple, his mouth open in a humorous attempt to breathe again.

Realising his mistake, Kazahaya let him go, and Rikuo responded with slapping him on the cheek, angry at the boy's over-eagerness. Kazahaya blushed, and crawled out from beneath him, and Rikuo pushed himself off the ground, an irritated look in his eye. Oh, he was no longer in character anymore: Just pissed off at the near-strangulation. Oh, that blond was _so_ gonna pay for it later!

"Listen to me, Kudo-kun!" yelled the director, tired and frustrated, "To do the accidental kiss, it needs_ flow_, and _meekness _and _subtlety_, with an _explosive_ result! The fall was _great_, you can't make it _flow_ any better, and you've got the _meekness_, but _subtlety_? Hell, if you're subtle, then I'm Darcy Bussell! And _Explosive_? You can't even make the dirty old man downstairs pop!" Really, the yelling was just a load of company-approved buzz words, with a few extra words mixed in, so naturally, Kazahaya took it to heart, and began to cry.

The director was panicking now: They were very close to missing this deadline, and sure he'd made older men cry (having done that to poor Mr Matsuyama last year), but a childish-teen? They were a different thing altogether! "Hey, hey now kid, don't cry, it's okay! You were just a little overenthusiastic about it, that's all!" Despite his encouragement, Kazahaya blubbed further, and the director began to sweat: Childline would _so_ be on his ass if word got out about this! He turned to the producer, and after a non-committed shrug from him, he sighed.

"Alright everyone, take five!" Everyone sighing with relief, and Kazahaya sniffing back the tears from the knowledge of escaped punishment, the actors left their posts and began walking to the buffet table on the other side of the studio, which had been packed with sweets, cakes, fruit, and other such snacks: Perfect for a mid-afternoon energy boost before a critical scene.

Within five minutes, Rikuo, Kazahaya, and the female extras were chomping on slices of Swiss rolls, sliced strawberries, and slices of cheesecake, sighing appreciatively at the burn of new sugar in their blood streams. The producer made a tutting sound, but in reality didn't mind: At least they'd get a good night's sleep tonight.

And slowly, from the shadows, a figure emerged, his hair a black mess and his underlined eyes wide as though wired, yet at the same time accusatory. His back straightened to an impossible degree as he made himself known the others.

'Silently' tiptoeing, he walked to the table, his hands held aloft in front of him, curled as though he was a stalker. He didn't care, that others could see him, and he couldn't care a toss about the possibility of looking like an idiot: All he cared about was the possibility of sweet cake washed down with sweet fruit, followed maybe with just a little bit more cake. In a nutshell, he was stalking Saint Peter, and was about to kick in his head and steal the keys. Not in Heaven yet, but it was getting to go that way.

As the child actors' appetites for sugar grew and grew, so the feast shrunk and shrunk, until only a few slices of each cake were left, and only a few pieces of strawberries sat at the bottom of their bowls, drowning solitarily in their own syrup. High as he was, even L had to shudder at such a sad sight. He even just see their small eyes closed as they cried juice, and their seed-coughing mouths opened wide, offering supplication to the Great Strawberry Vine. Not even the merciful death in a sweet-toothed child star's mouth could be given, for – sugar-loving as they were – not even they wanted to spare room for this dessert.

Suddenly, he saw something horrifying; something disgusting; something _evil_. It was something so bad, and so terrible, that he just wished that this pitiful, lowlife author hadn't sunk to such a low level as to feel the need to describe it: The blond actor named Kazahaya had picked up the last slice of strawberry cheesecake, rushed it down his gullet, and put down the plate again with chunks of the cheese still uneaten, and the crunchy biscuit layer untouched. How dare he?! How could that evil, insolent little boy (well, little compared to L) even think of committing such a heinous crime as to not appreciate his cake, and waste the rest of it? Those poor little strawberries were still drowning, and _that boy_ was squandering cake to avoid committing the strawberries' mercy killing himself? Anger amplified by his current blood sugar levels, he walked a little less than gracefully up to the actor, picking up the plate with the unfinished cake as he went. Kazahaya was now standing a few feet away from the table, wiping his mouth and smiling satisfactorily, unaware of the fate that was about to befall him.

Now standing directly behind him, L slowly tapped the boy's shoulder, making each moment of contact count. Still smiling, the blond turned around, but allowed the smile to fade as he met eyes with the sugar-high detective: He was holding the china plate he had just disposed of, and he didn't look happy about it. "Er…hi?" said the boy, the questioning intonation caused by the bewildering situation he'd found himself in. He'd only eaten some of his cheesecake, yet there was a strange man he's never seen before holding it up to, and giving a scowl that the Masked Killer himself would be proud of.

"Yes," answered L, his once-courteous tone coloured with a grating anger, "you seemed to have forgotten something." Unsure of what to make of this, Kazahaya continued with the bemused look.

"Huh?" Kazahaya asked, "What's that?"

And without warning, L brought up the still-cake-bearing plate, and brought it back down on the boy's blond head, "TO CLEAN YOUR PLATE!!! WAAAZZZAAAPPP!!!" L yelled, the scream more grating and death-metal style than the last time. And with that, he began spinning a path around the studio, knocking down all who and what got in his way. Cameras were demolished in the process, along with the film inside it.

For Kazahaya though, the process of succumbing to the blow was a little slow. First, he step forward, then back, span slightly clockwise, then anticlockwise, before falling down on to the floor butt first. Well, Rikuo had always suspected him of being a little backwards.

Seeing what the horror in jeans and scarecrow hair had done to his precious cast fellow, he ran to defend his honour, meeting the high detective head on. But he was soon defeated: L had soon recovered from smashing the plate, and had whipped around, catching Rikuo's face with his foot. Rikuo soon flew backwards from the blow, falling through the once sugar-laden table, plates and bowls crashing over him. He was out for the count in seconds.

"Oh, Lawliet, mine love!" The voice echoed out from the doorway, and L looked back round, his eyes widening, his mouth agape. W-what is he doing here? Hadn't he gotten rid of the baggage back in customs? Damn his luck! But...then again...

***

Opening the door to the studio, Light's eyes met with absolute chaos: People cowered along the walls like naive high school girls, a blond boy laid injured on the floor, while a taller, darker –haired young man laid sprawled between two destroyed tables, half-covered by a table-cloth and bowls and plates. But, among the hell, he saw a solitary angel... _Lawliet!_ He looked so handsome, his black hair spiking up and the fringe sweeping across his beautiful porcelain features, large black eyes glaring up at him, the underlining bags like the masterful stroke of an artist's brush, and his rounded shoulders heaving at the over-exertion and sugar rush... _If only I was seeing that in a different context... _Light thought absent-mindedly, his eyes wide and a big smile across his face, such as had never before been seen by anyone: In fact, the rarity of using his mouth muscles in such a way was making his face ache, yet he couldn't wipe the facial spasm off.

He wanted to declare his love again, wanted to make it clear to the befuddled detective, but was suddenly scared: What if he was rejected, and replaced with that waste of cerebral space Matsuda? That man was so desperate, that he would do anything to please Lawliet in bed and more besides, consequences and shame be damned! Lawliet was a brilliant, most handsome man, and if he decided that they could not be together…then he could be condemned to a bohemian lifestyle of writing poetry, being unemployed and crying five times a day, and Light was not about to risk that!

"Oh Lawliet, my-" his declaration stuck in his throat, and he stood stock still: L was walking towards him, his mouth upturned slightly and foaming, his eyes wide and red-rimmed, his hands flexed as wide as they would go, their rarely cut nails ready to draw blood: The sugar was back, and with sweet vengeance too (no pun intended).

L carried on walking towards Light, the sugar-junkie's eyes flashing dangerously, and foamy teeth bared – which were surprisingly sharp looking, considering the sugar that was eating away at his enamel – no doubt wishing to rip open a new _something_. Yet, despite the obvious danger he was in, Light just watched in wonder at the detective's unparalleled display of anger: Never had he seen him show anything more than a tiny smirk, and to know that the super sleuth could possibly be human underneath the sugar-addiction and apparent apathy was almost, well, sexy to the teenager.

Suddenly, they were no more than a frog's whisker away from each other, their clothing practically touching. Light held his arms wide open for L, hoping to envelope him inside a warm embrace, but, before the detective could be caught…he suddenly vanished from sight, and Light stood dumbstruck. Looking frantically to the left and right, he finally saw L to his left, and about to walk out the door.

"Lawliet!" Light yelled, eyes blurred with threatening tears, "I beseech that thee tellest of where he is going!"

(Trans: Lawliet! I beg that you tell me where you are going!)

To this, L merely looked back at the chestnut-haired man, and glared for a few seconds before turning back, a foot now outside the studio room. Light was desperately now: If L left without so much as a confession of his true feelings, he may never get them at all, and what a tragedy _that_ would be!

In desperation, Light grabbed hold of the remnants of chain still hanging off his wrist, and pulled hard: His Laddie-Love wasn't going anywhere without a fight, that's for sure!

(A/N: And no, that is not a misspelling of "Lady-Love", but merely a play on it – it's actually really hard to find a masculine version you know, and I had to make it from scratch. Use the phrase in your Yaois, if you wish, just tell them where you got it from.)

And, with a hard yank, L was indeed pulled back towards Light, now facing towards him.

The good part was that Light now had the attention of the detective, the said detective in front of him and locking eyes with him.

The inevitable bad part, of course, was that he didn't stop there, and continued past the space considered Light's personal bubble, no doubt bursting it with an invisible and metaphorical smash.

The really _terrible_ part, was that L had toppled forward, causing Light to topple thanks to being pushed by L's body, falling to the floor with the unfortunate (or is that fortunate?) brunette on his back. His head made friends with the floor, and L on top, was unable to stop himself before his face collided with Light's, the two meeting right…on…the…_lips_.

And do you want to know the really _hellish_ part? (Well, of course you do! I mean, it would be really pointless of you to waste your own time reading this far and not wanting to know all the terrible details: That would be silly! But it was a rhetorical question anyway, so there's no point me expecting an answer. So let's continue.)

And do you _really_ want to know the hellish part? It was at that moment, that Soichiro and Misa – still wearing the white bikini, in case you were wondering – burst in though the door, to see Soichiro's son/work partner and his boss, and Misa's 'boyfriend'/slave and the bane of her life collide at the mouths, forming a deep, if slightly violent kiss.

***

Misa stared on in horror at the sight before, her hands on her cheeks and her eyes and mouth wide in shock: Her beloved Light had been topped by the detestable Ryuzaki, and was being forcefully and unwillingly kissed by him too!

She could tell: Although Ryuzaki had his arms on either side of Light in an embrace, Light's arms were by his side, and his eyes were wide with surprise. No longer was he wanting that horrible man for his own, so even Misa could deduce that Light must have hit his head on the way down.

As for Soichiro, well, he didn't do anything: He was too bowled over with disbelief at what he was seeing: His son was in the arms of another man, and giving away the first kiss that Soichiro himself had seen that hadn't been meant for a family member. _His first romantic kiss? _He thought, his mind slow on account of the situation, _To my _boss_? What's going on? How did this happen? I knew he was confused by the concussion, but this? Is he really-_

His thoughts stopped suddenly, disturbed by the smallest smooching sound as the two geniuses' lips parted. L looked down at Light with the softest look of affection on his face, while Light could do nothing but give his wide-eyed look back, a hand reaching to his lips in contemplation, like that of a girl feeling her first kiss. Slowly, his eyes softened too, deciding that, despite the rather violent method, and the overall lack of softness, the kiss had indeed felt nice.

Suddenly, the smack of a punch had resounded, and L was a foot away and on his back, Light getting to his feet. Fearing for their lives, all but the blond boy and the dark-haired young man eating plates and table cloths ran out of the studio along the wall, leaving Soichiro, Misa, Light and L where they were. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Light yelled, a face like thunder clouding his features as he stood rigid over L's battered form.

Somehow, it seems, the sugar rush had been shot out of L with Light's strong punch, and so now the detective laid, his eyes wide with surprise, and no doubt feeling absolutely sorry for himself for the damage he'd caused; now he was sane.

Soichiro and Misa gave a collective sigh: Light had indeed been befuddled with concussion when he declared his love, and now he'd hit his head again, he was back to his manly-man, determined, slightly violent and girl-loving self.

_Or so they believed…_

THE END

**And that's the end of **_**Sugar High L**_**! Ooh, I feel so tingly, now that I've completed something for the first time, and I can actually put 'THE END' to something. You know, I've got a couple of other one/two shots planned, so I may have to get used to the feeling for a while.**

**So what do you think? Please review and tell me what you think – plus, all flames are welcome for toast and apple jam!**

**I hope you've enjoyed this.**

**SEE YA!!!**


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